Decisions

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. This well known prayer really sums up the heart and mind struggle I have been in the last many weeks. To know what symptoms won't change with surgery, courage to know to proceed with surgery if it can change things and then the wisdom to know the difference. It is the wisdom and peace I have been seeking and praying about.

As Steve mentioned in the last post, the neurologist at the University of Washington suspects two issues going on at the same time. Compression and instability at the site of my previous brain surgery and fusion at the area of the brainstem. This would account for the severe pressure headaches, cardiac issues, blood pressure problems, and now constant nausea and vomiting. It has been four weeks since I have hardly been able to keep down any food. There is also a lot of other less serious symptoms that can be related to the brainstem compression and instability between my old fusion and my wobbly skull. The other issue is a suspected metabolic myopathy/mitochondrial disorder that would account for my extensive fatigue, extreme pain in my legs, and weakness in my largest muscles. The NY neurosurgeons also feel I have a condition known as Ehlers-Danlos disease which is a disease of the connective tissues and cartilages in the body. This would contribute to the instability of my current fusion from 2000. There are other issues with EDS too such as poor wound healing which I also have. The doctors also feel I have a tethered spinal cord. The spinal cord is supposed to hang loose inside the end of the vertebral bones of the low back. Mine has acquired adhesions that is "tethering" it to the vertebral bodies causing a constant downward pull on my brainstem adding additional compression.

After several conversations with the NY neurosurgeons in which we expressed a desire to come there for a consultation, we received a reply that the doctors could see me on December 9 and do a cervicocranial fusion on December 12 so I would only have to travel once due to my precarious health. I know they were trying to be accommodating but I became overwhelmed with this quick turn-around between consultations and the actual surgery. In the craniocervical fusion they will fuse my skull through C-3 with rods and screws. I will not be able to move my head very much after this surgery. Due to my problems with anesthesia (the last two surgeries in NY left me in comas following both surgeries) they want to do the surgery to de-tether

the spinal cord at the same time. This will involve a large incision in my lower back, the removal of some vertebrae and then meticulous cutting away of the spinal cord from the adhesions. They will then secure the vertebrae back in place. The idea of having two major surgeries in one was overwhelming to me. All I knew to do was pray for peace about it and gather as much information as possible in order to make an informed decision about both surgeries.

Thankfully God placed two special ladies in my life who have both had these surgeries in NY with my neurosurgeons and they have been more than willing to answer my endless questions. (Thank you Emily and Lisa!) All of that to say, unless some unexpected information comes to light, I am fairly confident that I will be having both surgeries on December 12. (Also Steve's birthday) I am terrified of the anesthesia process and possible complications like before. Please pray for Steve and me as we continue to filter through information and also as we work with insurance to get approval and in-network coverage. That is a huge prayer request. We are blessed to have both sets of parents making the trip to be with us.Also prayers for our travel to NY because right now I can only sit up for a couple of hours without needing to be horizontal again and we have a 4 hour flight ahead of us.

Currently I am not doing so well. I promised when I started this CarePage to always be honest so I have to say the current pain and vomiting has pushed me to my maximum ability to endure. The past few weeks have been extremely difficult as I have tried to process the surgery decisions while not feeling well. The daily struggles have taken over in full force. Nothing seems to calm or ease the pain of the physical battles. Every waking moment has been dedicated to making the extraordinarily difficult decision of whether to have these surgeries.

It is sometimes easy to forget that God doesn't call us to live a comfortable life but to live a life trusting Him even when then valley seems very low. There is always something bigger going on because there is a God who is sovereign. In our suffering he takes us where we don't want to go in order to produce in us and others what we couldn't achieve on our own. I know I am not promised the outcome of my choosing but I am promised God will be with me regardless of the outcome.

Although sounding odd, I'm grateful for the challenges this illness and this decision, the trials, the fear, and the pain I face on a daily basis bring because they all serve as a reminder to try and enjoy and find beauty in each moment. To live with intentionality. To live with passion. To live with purpose. And most of all it gives me a small glimpse into the sacrifice Christ made for me.

Thank you for continuing to keep up with us and pray for us. Pray complete healing will come! We will be using this site to keep up constant communication once we arrive in NY. We would ask that if you know of others who would pray for us that you pass along this website. I am not on Facebook but if you are and know people in your circle of friends that would pray, please feel free to list this site.

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12

"Do not be afraid or discouraged by what you see before you, for the battle is not yours ... it is God's" 2 Chronicles 20:15

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Messages

Kimball & Elizabeth Parker November 20, 2013, 5:12 PM Your courage and faith are always inspiring! May our God continue to reveal His love and compassion for you each and every hour. Our prayers are with you and for you!

Pete Suver

November 20, 2013, 5:25 PM

You guys are my heroes. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to lighten the load.

Sandy Temple

November 20, 2013, 5:29 PM

You continue to amaze and inspire me with your faith and courage regardless of the trials.....I am lifting you all up in my prayers. Yes, God is good all the time:)....So thankful:). Love you!

Joan Bouck

November 20, 2013, 5:30 PM

We miss you, Lee. You and Steve are ever in my prayers for the best possible outcome on your upcoming trip and surgeries. So glad your families will be with you both for comfort and support, as we will be here. Wishing you nothing but the best in all. Joan, FD3

Don Disney

November 20, 2013, 5:35 PM

I am sorry to known that you are suffering so badly. You are far from me in distance but close in my heart. Love you.

Wendy Sternshein

November 20, 2013, 5:38 PM

My heart is with you both on this journey. May you be surrounded with love and light and find relief from the challenges you have so bravely been facing. You will be uppermost in my thoughts.

Anna Lee Drewry

November 20, 2013, 5:43 PM

Lee, I will continue to pray for a full recovery. Thank you for sharing your faith and courage through all of your many challenges. I believe God will guide the surgeons' hands for a successful outcome.

Caryn Szmuc

November 20, 2013, 5:47 PM

You amaze me with your courage and faith. What an awesome testimony to the presence of God! I will continue to lift you and Steve up in prayer for God's will in your life. Caryn Szmuc

Emily Dreyer

November 20, 2013, 5:52 PM

"The battle is not yours...it's His" Hold tight to this promise as I know you are. Love & many prayers!

-Emily

Sandy Moye

November 20, 2013, 6:02 PM

Praying for you guys!

Kara Williams

November 20, 2013, 6:03 PM

Lee and Steve, I am praying daily for you. Praying for God's complete healing! Love Kara Church Williams

Sandra Mulsand

November 20, 2013, 6:13 PM

Lee, praying for you. Lou & Sandra Mulsand in E TN

Lee Anne Giurintano

November 20, 2013, 6:18 PM

I will continue to lift prayers for strength and healing for you and Steve. I will also be lifting special prayers for the medical team when you have your surgery. As so many other followers have said before, you truly are an amazing woman, and your words so inspiring. My family and friends will be praying for you. Keep the Faith!! Prayers for healing from Paducah, Kentucky, Lee Kimball & Elizabeth Parker November 20, 2013, 6:37 PM Thank you, Lee and Steve, for taking us on your journey with you, and for pointing us to Christ as you seek Him more deeply every day. I think of you often and pray each time I do. Looking forward to lighter times-- Your sister in Christ, Elizabeth

Debby Swecker

November 20, 2013, 6:39 PM

May you feel his peace, presence and direction. We will be praying for you! Debby & Dan

Sandra Mulsand

November 20, 2013, 6:43 PM

We will surely be lifting you up in prayer and especially the medical team. Specifically that you and Steve will sense the powerful presence of God for courage, strength, peace and hope. Sandra and Lou Mulsand Knoxville, TN.

Kelly Anderson

November 20, 2013, 6:56 PM

Lee & Steve, We love you both and will continue praying for God's mercy and healing. Thank you for the information it helps us pray more specifically. Love, The Anderson's

Nancy Ziehl

November 20, 2013, 7:04 PM

Holding you up in prayer.

Link Hudson

November 20, 2013, 7:14 PM

Lee, thank you for being transparent, honest, and sincere. I feel overwhelmed after reading your post, I can't even imagine how you feel. I am praying and will be praying.

Steve Braden

November 20, 2013, 7:19 PM

Uncle Steve and I are praying for travel comfort, the medical team, and Gods healing. We love you guys so much. I plan on contacting as many prayer warriors that I can.

Sandi Henry

November 20, 2013, 8:04 PM

Lee, I am in tears after reading about your ordeal. I remember how bad you were years ago in Knoxville. Sounds like you're pretty much in the same place. We're so encouraged by the neurosurgeons and patients you have found who are helping you. I'm always amazed and inspired by your strength and trust in God. We will be praying that you have peace in your decisions and that you will find rest and comfort. I am confident that God hears our prayers and knows all your needs much better than we do. We will share your page with our friends so you can have even more prayer warriors. We love you and thank you for using what strength you have to take time to share with us. Praying for a new Lee for Christmas! That would be the best birthday and Christmas present for Steve!

carol sparks

November 20, 2013, 9:49 PM

Lee and Steve. You will be in my prayers as you face this difficult road our Lord Jesus has placed you on. Dec.

12 is my wedding anniversary, so I will remember that date for sure. I will ask others I know to be in prayer as well for you. Carol Sparks

Cherie Leyva

November 20, 2013, 10:17 PM

Lee and Steve, I am praying continuously for the both of you. The Fire Department is your extended family and you are constantly in our prayers. God speed with your flight, surgery and recovery. We will all be awaiting your arrival home to Washington. Cherie

Tamara Longworth

November 20, 2013, 11:07 PM

We are certainly praying for you both and have passed along for additional prayers as well. Please know that you will be in our thoughts as you make this journey, and you have touched so many with your story and faith in God. You have an army of support

here, and we are blessed to be among so many of the Godly soldiers!! Love to you both! Tamara and Bill

Lisa Currall

November 20, 2013, 11:53 PM

Always praying.....

Jennifer Spencer

November 21, 2013, 12:02 AM

Sending you prayers from Beaver Land (Karns) :) Jennifer Hicks Spencer

sue ensign

November 21, 2013, 12:03 AM

Ditto what all the others have said and prayed. I am without adequate words to convey the wonder of all your ordeal. Thank God we have Jesus.

Susan Jenkinson

November 21, 2013, 1:55 AM

Thank you so much for your update. It was a blessing to see it was from you this time Lee. I will continue to lift you to The Great Physician for healing. Oh how I wish I

could be there for you in person. I am with you in spirit. I have many praying for you as well. I can only imagine how frightening it must be to have to face another surgery. I am off work on the 12th and will spend the day in prayer for you. God has seen you through so many times in the past and I believe He will be faithful to see you through again. Love you guys!!!

D Ward

November 21, 2013, 2:14 AM

We love you Lee and have placed you on prayer list of 75 prayer warrior ladies at church. Hugs, Debby and family

Linda Surber

November 21, 2013, 2:37 AM

Praying for you as you asked. Also for your Mom and Dad as well as Steve's family. Keep posting as you are able. Linda

Shirley Keith

November 21, 2013, 4:20 AM

I shall be constant in prayer for all concerned,

Sandy Cooper

November 21, 2013, 1:46 PM

We are all praying for you. Uncle Sandy and all of my family. Have been keeping you in there prays. We know you are in good hands. love and Prayers

Cynthia Lewis

November 21, 2013, 3:58 PM

Praying for complete healing! May your pain subside. You are an inspiration! Cynthia - Clinton, Tn

Carolyn Hamby

November 21, 2013, 4:00 PM

Praying for wisdom, clear direction and the peace that passes all understanding for you and Steve. Rachel Fox November 21, 2013, 4:25 PM Thank you for your transparency. The Fox family and our church family will be praying along with the Monday morning men.

Eunice Goodwin

November 21, 2013, 5:20 PM

When all this is past you, perhaps you can write a book that you can call "Job, Volume II." You and yours will certainly stay in our prayers for safety, peace and strength to make this trip at this most difficult time. Much love, Eunice and Dan

Nola von Neudegg

November 21, 2013, 5:54 PM

Lee, I pray (and will continue to pray) that God will give you a depth of peace and serenity beyond what you can ever imagine - beyond any of our comprehension. Trust Him to carry you. He is a good God and you are a a VERY SPECIAL daughter to Him. Please don't hesitate to contact me if I can do anything more to make this journey better for you. Hugs, Nola

Cindy Hambly

November 21, 2013, 7:48 PM

WE are with you through all of this. Even though we can't be there in person please know that we are with you in spirit. Prayers continue to come you way. Miracles

happen everyday please stay positive. Love you both

Ruth Warner

November 22, 2013, 12:53 AM

Words cannot express the sadness I feel for you, Steve and all who love you. Through it all, you write beautifully about your devastating experience. Know I will address each item on your prayer requests and be praying for 100% positive outcome.

Carol Heck

November 22, 2013, 10:54 AM

David and I lift you and Steve up. My sister and family have moved to Lacy, is there anything I could ask her to do? If you are able to email me your address I'll see if

they live near you. Sandy Henry is keeping us updated, praying today is a good day for you, Carol Heck

JoAnn Flesner

November 23, 2013, 5:54 PM

Sending prayers. Put you faith in GOD. You are never alone. He walks with you,always... Jill Shelton November 25, 2013, 5:33 PM Praying for you Lee and Steve during these continued and very trying times. You are loved, please know you are prayed for. Especially praying for your journey to NY and with all that is going to take place. Thank you for the updates!

Linda Hamilton

November 25, 2013, 6:10 PM

Oh my....praying in earnest here. Dear Heavenly Father, surround Lee and Steve with Your endless grace and mercy, and please bless them with comfort, peace, hope and a measure of relief from the daily physical challenges. You alone are worthy to be praised,

and I thank you in advance for the marvelous things you are about to accomplish in these two dear lives. Amen.

Dolores Burtnett

November 28, 2013, 12:28 AM

You are always in my prayers, our prayer list at church and always in my heart. If only we could take some of this pain from you. Love Dolores

Judy Wilson

December 2, 2013, 5:43 PM

Dear Lee, It was quite a surprise to see you on Saturday. I'm so glad I had that opportunity. Thank you for using your precious energy to put oversee the decoration of the tree. We will all think of you with positive thoughts as we pass by. You are an inspiration to all who know you. I wish I

could relieve you of your pain. I was raised Catholic and found solace in the Blessed Mother. I will pray that Mary will be with you.

Erin West

December 8, 2013, 4:06 AM

The West family is praying. Love y'all!

Chris Hill

December 9, 2013, 3:18 AM

Bob & I continue to pray for you both in these coming weeks. We will ask the Lord to guide your doctors with their knowledge and skills to find the right path to a healthy recovery.

God Bless. Bob & Chris Hill

Jim Dickson

December 9, 2013, 4:32 PM

Lee, as you face yet another challenge on your journey to recovery, do so with Faith, Hope, Love, Courage, and Perseverance, and you will win. And, Steve, as you stand beside Lee, do so free of worry about all of us, because we have your back, and will support you in every way possible. Focus on the battle at hand. You are both the greatest!

Freda Satterfield

December 9, 2013, 5:02 PM

Steve and Lee Sharon Baptist Church will be praying for you. Gerald and Freda Satterfield

Doris Hixon

December 11, 2013, 9:46 PM

Lee & Steve, I am praying for you both. I will also have my son Tim and Tammy be praying for you tomorrow. I love you my sweet friend. Doris Hixon